Lasting Friendship

Your friend is your needs answered

Back in April, Mum and Dad celebrated their wedding anniversary. 42 years, that’s how long they’ve been together. The day before the anniversary, Dad completed his 44-day procedure at the clinic. He rang the bell and received a certificate of completion. It was a joyful moment for all of us.

Before that, on weekday mornings, my parents would get up early and prepare for the one-hour appointment to the clinic and back. Breakfast came after. It was a set routine.

They are currently at my sister's place in Morgantown, West Virginia.

For weeks, my sister and her husband took turns driving them to the clinic and back. But every day, mother would be by father’s side, waiting for him at the door after every appointment.

The last time I visited in April, I joined them on one of these clinic runs, and it was a pleasure to watch. Not only because of the joy I feel whenever I am with my parents, but also seeing how attached they are at the hip. I remember growing up and seeing the friendship they both shared. The early morning chats, the late night laughter, you couldn’t keep anything from either of them.

I think about their union and realise how much it has shaped my perspective on friendship and love.

“This is now bone of bones and flesh of my flesh…”- Gen 2:23

When Y asked me what I was looking for, I didn’t know that I could find the right words for it.

It was something better witnessed than explained. It was more than loyalty, a rare kind of devotion.

I think of my closest friends, the ones who have endured through the years. I think of the friendship I share with my sisters, my lifelong friends. The effort it takes to maintain friendships, to be a person others can count on, even over distance and time.

I’m not saying longevity is proof of a good friendship, but longevity is proof of a good friendship. It is a good practice to be in long-term stable relationships. My parents have shown me. Things last when you take care of them. There is a fineness to it. A stability grounded in knowledge of each other. And in Kahlil Gibran’s words, “a field which you show with love and reap with thanksgiving.”

I’ve seen the impact of long-term relationships in my life too. There are friends who ferociously believe in me and force me to believe in myself on the days it seems hard. The ones who have been there all along and need no introduction. The ones who keep nudging me to write, to take braver steps, and do the things that light me up, because somehow they know.

I hope the friendships in your life inspire and excite you. I hope you get to spend time with people who make you feel both grounded and expansive. I hope the summer has been good to you and yours, it sure has been to me.

P.S: I will be starting a series, letters to friends I now live far away from. Letters from away. I find it easier to write like I’m talking to my friends, constantly yapping as the kids say. I will number these letters so they are easier to follow. It will be my first series, and I'm excited about it. More to come on this, stay with me. Thank you for always.

Quote of the week

Your friend is your needs answered.
He is your field which you sow with love and reap with thanksgiving.
And he is your board and your fireside. For you come to him with your hunger, and you seek him for peace.
When your friend speaks his mind you fear not the “nay” in your own mind, nor do you withhold the “ay.”
And when he is silent your heart ceases not to listen to his heart;
For without words, in friendship, all thoughts, all desires, all expectations are born and shared, with joy that is unacclaimed.

-Kahlil Gibran